So I just got back from the second photo shoot! Woo! I am so glad I went and as simple as something like this looks you might be surprised how much you can learn about yourself in the process. A big part of it was that I needed to heal some self worth issues I had and this was a big step. I learned about myself in the first photo shoot but this one was the goal and I learned a bit about my nature, how I relate to people, to females, and just how much work still needs to be done to open up fully. It's going to be allot fun editing the photos too since there was allot of experimenting going on for this. It is not just a growing venture but also an artistic experiment which I will take as far as my imagination allows.
In other news...
Wouldn't you know that we had to turn off our water the day before the photo shoot? So I couldn't take a shower after that. I had to trim my beard and wash up using bottled water. Looking back it is not so bad, but I thought initially "Come on, the day before my photo shoot? Really?" It's not like I do photo shoots regularly, this was a big move for me and it was so important I just wanted everything to go smoothly. Then of course I couldn't sleep very well, but I expected that. The pants I was going to wear were dirty and I couldn't wash them of course because we had no water! Then there was a 4th Dimensional Manipulation that I feel were the Pleiadians but I can't say for sure, and I don't know if it was a good thing or bad, I won't judge what I don't understand. They basically inserted light crystals into the chakra points that were hot as they reached just in front of the spine. Through my crown was inserted a violet cylindrical crystal, down vertically, then in all the other chakra points they were inserted through the front with the colors of the rainbow. It was WILD, I have NEVER experienced anything like it! 100% real and I was debating whether I should trust it. I figured I better wait and see the effects it has in my day to day life. So it did have an effect on my kundalini it seems. I was upset about this also so it was all compounding and I thought "these beings are ALSO trying to stop me from showing up to the shoot!
I was really peeved because it felt like everything around me was testing me and threatening to make this photo shoot not happen. I was pissed like I haven't been in a while but I was conscious, I wasn't about to let my emotions ruin it. I constantly watched my thoughts, being sure not to close down emotionally but instead create a happy thought pattern. External events were NOT going to stop me, if I stopped it would've been my own weakness that ruined it. So as to keep calm and remain centered I did allot of breath work and positive inner affirming. A big key also was the idea that it is all happening for my good, not as a conspiracy against my intentions. I told myself "I am creating this vibrationally" many times in different ways. I was determined not to adopt any sort of victim mentality. It is so easy to just whine and complain but that would've ruined my experience of the photo shoot, not to mention it would've created more negative experiences to learn from.
So much was weighing on my consciousness yesterday that I decided not to write, I had to calm myself and get rest how ever I could, and I'm glad I was aware enough not to force write for this book and instead just tune into my body and manage my energy as best I could. It all paid off in the end because I was much more emotionally fit for the photo shoot and my light-hearted nature came back into play enough that I made both model and the photographer laugh on several occasions. My mindset of things that are stressful is everything can go wrong and I don't care, I am going to have fun, let loose, make fun of myself, get laughs how ever I can, goof off and see what happens. Lissette even called me a goof. I am glad I came across that way because it's far better than thinking of me as too serious. Life is about finding a way to be joyful and centered despite everything, to be Love yourself irregardless of what is going on around you. That's a really big lesson!
I look forward to seeing some of the photos from today, I'm sure we'll get allot of weird ones, but who cares, we had fun. :)
All things creative.