So once again I took a bit of a hiatus from writing, it was much needed. Last thing I recall talking about was my decision to move more to traditional mediums and "embrace what is real". The past few days this brought up some emotions and I really began to draw away from the computer and out into nature. It is not just the fakeness of the tech world but the negative energy in my surroundings, I don't want to point fingers, I know it's all an agreement on a soul level. In any case I went outside and stayed outside for the majority of the day yesterday and a bit the day before too. There's no replacement in my experience for a very cozy long time out in nature, away from all concerns and distractions, absorbing the sun rays and feeling the shifting wind on your skin as you dose in and out of yourself. I began to realize this, that in the comfort of our little houses we can imagine anything to be real, what is real is what we make real. What we post up on our walls and expose ourselves to each day. But when we go out in the world we are faced much more with the unavoidable reality that we cocoon ourselves away from. It's not one thing, but it represents what we are being influenced by whether we realize it our not. Our environment shapes us whether seen or unseen so it's good to spend a day apart from our routines and attachments.
Well, I don't want to become one myself, but one thing that I have just about had enough of is whining. That's all I ever hear around here. And like I said I don't like pointing fingers, but it's downright sickening to here it everyday from every direction. Even my cats know only how to whine it seems. I just want to yell "SHUT UP ALREADY!!!" But that won't solve anything.
This somewhat segways into my realization this morning which was so simple and so profound to me. I even channeled methods to rid ourselves of this dense energy which is probably at the root of chronic, ceaseless, agonizing whining! That energy is Disappointment. The time has come to rid ourselves of this mucky, nasty, heavy energy that sucks the life out of us. It's like a poison when held on to and it eats away at our spirit, mind and body. Disappointment becomes bitterness becomes frustration becomes anger becomes violence and ultimately self destruction. Thus, disappointment is self destructive. It's time, at least for me, to let it ALL go.
I noticed yesterday as I walked with my disappointment hanging from my shoulders how HEAVY I felt. It was so much work just to walk I was amazed. Contrast that with the vigor and energy of a child, which I feel in me today. Sourness literally is like a weight to us now.
I am going to start with the most energetic exercise that will help us to get rid of disappointment, the result of getting rid of it is like being a baby again, deep inside, you become fresh and filled with energy and enthusiasm. If this doesn't appeal to you, perhaps you are still attached to misery as your companion. But do not dispair, you will release it in your own time. Don't mind me.
The first exercise is to look around and notice if ANYTHING gives you the unconscious excuse to be disappointed, either in yourself, or in someone else, or in life itself.
Disappointment is the weight of the unmet expectations of the past.
Children do not have this.
Just notice that feeling. Then decide inside yourself that you no longer support this energy, you choose to let it go. Then either in your imagination or in reality start clapping your hands loudly around the object, each time you can see a spark of intense light in your minds eye which dispels the dense energy. "Gone!" say aloud or in your mind. Remember to generate the frequency of gratitude. You are thankful for the lesson and you are thankful that it is over. Imagine you are inwardly celebrating the departure of the dense energy of disappointment. Clap your hands repeatedly around it, igniting the spark "Gone! Goodbye! Done!" What ever word works for you. The light you imagine helps energize your intention. You can also imagine thousands of loud snapping sparks of light cleansing it. (Free!!) You can do this to cleanse your aura too!! It felt good when I did it.
The recommended time to do it is in meditation, when you just wake up or when you are about to go to sleep, or even after eating a satisfying meal as the chemicals in your brain support a meditative state. If you have a stomach ache then that will not help, wait until it passes for better results, but anytime can work. You just want your mind to be most at rest from worry and to be imaginative and giddy when you do it so it is most effective. Those are my recommendations.
This is a more simple exercise. Simply notice where and what you are disappointed in. If you are disappointed in yourself begin to imagine you are saying what ever you are saying to yourself to your child.
"Uhg it's okay son but you could've done much better. This thing is wrong with it and this and that. You totally failed at this part. You have so much you could do, but you you suck too much son."
This is no good. So start by just noticing this. Then start saying supporting things that will be much more life affirming.
"Good job! I see so much potential! You are so good! It's perfect, literally PERFECT! You did everything just perfectly, even the things you wish were different are perfect because they show you more of what you wish to do better at. Amazing job!"
Pat yourself on the back, ENOUGH putting yourself down! This is a killer, and mostly we are just waiting for the day when something or someone gives us an excuse to rid ourselves of it. For an award maybe, a trophy. Perhaps a promotion or a reward. Well we can do this for ourselves just by honestly telling ourselves "Good Job! I'm proud of you!" and NOT saying we must suffer until someone else recognizes likewise. As long as we wait for someone else we are creating our own suffering.
Perhaps we had envisioned a future that never came to pass. It's okay, that does NOT mean we failed. Nor should we be bitter towards life. We need to remember the innocence we had as children that allowed us to be eager towards life and Deeeeply joyful and pure. Open and sensitive. The more closed off we are the more we are like the walking dead. Our emotions become dense, our bodies fall apart, and our thoughts turn sour.
All things creative.