So after being awake mostly during the night for practically two weeks I am finally getting a little more than a taste of day light. I will say that at night there are few options and less interaction with the outside world. And for the most part I enjoy the whole thing. A couple days ago I began to desire daylight and the recognition of that fact that only so much could be done at night began to sink in more. I was basically stuck in the house and the internet and what ever tools I had at my disposal here were my options... Oh yeah an stepping outside to look at the stars. I enjoyed it and yet I am most grateful to be able to see the sun again and see people and activity all around. I also can go for walks again and on warmer days perhaps ride the bike.
Today I found myself very frustrated with this world, I am a man and the more I look at it I see that "the powers that be" are doing everything in their power to DIS-EMPOWER men. In fact they are doing it to everyone, not just men. But for men they attack by basically calling everything that is our very nature illegal, and by contaminating our natural biology. Most REAL MEN are in jail because they had enough and took back their power. The others, the more peaceful men, are dead, because they were revolutionaries and challenged the status quo too much. We are being attacked it seems at every level and are in a system that is so artificial I cannot stand it. Some people put up with it well, others like myself do not, when I'm actually facing it directly. I am a free-spirit. I say this lightly, but I HATE the system we are living in. Do you know that if I decide I want to go somewhere I should be able to just pack my bags and go? Or if I want to visit a friend, their should not have to be a three month delay on this. Everyone's just looking for that paper. Whether it be documents of citizenship or money. It's all bullshit.
Anyway, when I am finished venting I am going to continue ramping up the vortex and demanding greater change. The more of my innate power I wish to discover the greater risks I need to be willing to take. Without Courage I will grant myself little by way of power. However, there is a flip side to this and that is that I don't have to DO everything, some things are simply a gift that we decide to accept or reject. Sometimes it's exaclty what we've been asking for, but because it bruises our ego we reject it. We want it OUR WAY!! But that's not neecessarily the BEST way. In any case we make up our minds and live with the results.
Right now I am taking this photography thing as far as I can. To discover my man hood I have got to claim that power through courage or I might as well cut off my balls now and lie in bed for the rest of my life! That will NOT be me!
I want to travel, I WILL travel, and far. I am manifesting it now, by the sheer passion I feel for visiting those friends who live across the boarder. I will vent my frustrations, all the while watching from within from the peace that is ever present. Not resisting that fire but watching it, and directing it. And when it passes I will focus with a different energy of passion. Anger is also passion, and as long as we don't identify with it but recognize it as energy and direct it, we can accomplish things and never leave our vortexes. This is Alchemy!!! I think. :B
I heard it is not a good idea to make big decisions when you are in an extreme emotional state because you are not clear headed. Wait for it to pass and come back into balance first... It feels like the wise thing to do to me also.
Time for great change. Spirit, direct my actions. Lets GO!
All things creative.